when i die, my tombstone wont say RIP
it will say VIP
That’s because they reserved a special place in hell for you
yeah the throne
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
when im older and my kid needs me to sign something for school im just gonna write “Dad” in really crappy handwriting so it seems like my kid forged my signature and the teacher calls to tell me and im just “yes no it is i dad”
i posted this when i accidentally took too much medication
screw you guys
i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead.
omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston
ugh, my hair looks terrible
can we do it again i blinked
someone left this picture on the tester camera at target
A dog wandered into our yard so I checked her tags